Now that I was hooked I wanted to take it to the next level.
I made a list of 5 things I wanted in my life. I was dreaming big this time!! HUGE!!
I was living in my parents home at the time and to me, at the rate I was going I figured it would probably take me 2-3 years for us to get a place of our own. Number one on my list was I wanted a house of our own. This truly felt absolutely impossible to me at the time! IMPOSSIBLE! Did I stress that enough? I was barely paying all my bills at the time and to think I could afford that seemed so far out of reach. The thought was daunting. I sat down with my boys because I wanted them to be part of this whole dreaming and creating process too so I asked them for their input on what kind of house they wanted. I was dreaming, so I decided we were going to dream big and pull out all the stops. They had never lived in a two story home before so that was at the top of their list. They listed everything they wanted in a home:
The next thing I put on my list was that I wanted to feel happy again. Remember, at the time, I was still not in a great place emotionally and I thought my life was over. I was looking to heal from a painful divorce and I truly wanted to laugh again and feel happiness. I wanted to feel joy again.
Because of what I had experienced, the next thing to go on my list was that I wanted to be in a relationship where I felt honored and respected as a woman and valued for who I was. I wanted to feel connection and a deep sense of integrity and mutual respect.
I also put on my list that I wanted a career where I made a difference in people’s lives. I wanted a fulfilling career that made me feel alive and a contribution to the world around me. I wanted to feel purposeful in what I did.
The last thing on my list was just as huge, if not bigger than the 1st one on my list. The dvd talked so much about money that I decided I was going to put that I wanted 15,000!! I was seriously going for it!!
So this is what my list looked like:
Pretty far reaching right? Well I put my simple list above up on a bulletin board in my room and each day I looked at it I tried to envision what it would feel like to have it. I was planting seeds and didn’t even know it. My mindset and thoughts were drastically changing and every time I felt inspired, I took action. I was looking to create a new destiny for myself and my children. I started believing in myself and little by little my heart was starting to heal. I was letting go of the past that had held me back and I was looking to a new future and a new existence. As the months passed on I even decided one day to quit my job and pursue a whole new avenue of starting my own business. Doors of opportunity came my way. My confidence was growing. I was learning how to do things differently and I started daring bravely. Life was never going to be the same and I was no longer going to live life the way I used to. I learned HOW to finally create what I wanted and what I needed to do to get there. It was a whole new beginning and through some key shifts and changes I made, 10 months later I had EVERYTHING on my list!
As I was packing up to move our of my parents home, I noticed some papers had been put on top of my list and I actually hadn’t looked at it for a couple of months and to my amazement as I looked at my list, we were now moving into the very home the boys and I had described, down to a T! 2 weeks previous I had literally been offered a job with a non-profit organization that I didn’t even apply for! It was a job making a huge difference in the world. I was smiling! I felt happy again! Life was full of hope and possibilities!! I was in a wonderful relationship with an amazing guy who taught me to believe in myself again and who showed me what love really was. It was so healing to my soul. (we later parted as friends but I will be forever grateful for the pivotal person he became in my healing and belief in self) I didn’t get a 15,000 check. I got a 21,000 check!!! Thus the reason we were moving into a brand new home! It blew my mind as I read the list and realized that in only 10 months time I HAD IT ALL!! Life has never been the same!
That began a whole new existence for me and my children. The process I used was now what would shape everything I did in the future.
During the divorce I had worked as a substitute teacher for a school district and after leaving that job I started getting statements in the mail about a teacher’s retirement fund. I was confused as to why I was getting these statements with numbers and verbage I wasn’t too familiar with. Weeks after I started changing my mindset on money and expecting that it truly was coming my way and even expecting some would somehow come in the mail one day, I remember sitting in my parent’s front room and once again opening one of these teacher retirement statements. I had always disregarded them but this time I had the thought to turn the paper over and look on the back. To my surprise, at the bottom it showed a balance of $343 in an account somewhere. I had never thought to turn it over and here it was telling me that I had money! I called and verified that I did in fact have money in an account and cha ching! I soon had a check coming to me for that amount. This might not seem to significant but I it was a turning point for me in realizing what I was blocking out instead of allowing to come into my life and $343 was a fortune to me at the time!
As soon as that check came, guess what I did with it???? Oh to see the faces of those 3 young boys Christmas morning as they woke up to a Wii was absolutely priceless! My hope was growing but so was theirs! They all jumped for joy and said mom “it works! It really really works! I put this in my catalog of the universe! It works!!” Not only was I learning about what I could create in my life, I was teaching my children as well. It literally transformed our lives!
My first experiment worked! I was hooked! The next one was about to blow me mind!!
One night, after a long day of work, my then 9 year son Caleb came to me and with excitement in his voice, told me he wanted me to watch a dvd he had seen and that is was so cool I needed to see it for myself. I sat down and watched it with him and I literally felt the seeds of hope rising within me again. I actually watched the dvd several times because what I learned literally blew my mind!
It talked about how we create our life by our thoughts and what we think. It talked about money A LOT, which was something I didn’t have much of at the time.
I started to realize that maybe there was really something to this whole thing of changing your thinking to create what you really want…
So I decided to test it for myself if it really did work.
I had no money at the time so I didn’t really have anything to lose.
I started with recognizing that I had my own accountability to look at for how my life now was. I had to take a hard look at myself and what I created and decide I finally wanted something different.
After watching the dvd I sat my boys down and we talked about them making their own “catalog of the universe”. I got them each a blank notebook and bought some expired magazines from the library. I told them to cut out pictures of what they wanted from the universe. I can still picture them all sitting in my parent’s living room thumbing through the pages with excitement and sharing with each other al the things they wanted to put in their books.
They loved it! It got them excited and it taught them to dream!
At that time, the Wii was a new thing and when they each showed me their catalog of the universe, that was the one common thing they had all put in theirs. They each wanted a Wii and BADLY. My heart sank as I saw the hope and excitement in their eyes and wondered how they would ever get one.
Christmas was coming and I had no money. Little by little though I was changing my thinking. I started to change my language around money. Instead of saying “we can’t afford it”. I would say “that money is going elsewhere right now” or “those resources are being used for other purposes right now” I stopped thinking in a place “lack” and started thinking in abundance. I started expecting checks in the mail and really feeling gratitude for being able to pay my bills every month. I was actually glad to send payments in knowing I even had the money to and that I could pay off some debt as well. I was really testing this whole new concept out and it wasn’t long before I started seeing results….