I had an epiphany one morning as I was standing in my kitchen looking at a big beautiful glass jar container that was sitting on a little desk in the corner.
It had been an expensive jar I had invested in for the functionality of adding beauty to tables at events and served well as a drink dispenser. I used it at a bridal shower I gave 10 months ago, where it gave under the pressure of the liquid in it and a hole just burst through the side. I didn't throw it away though. It sat in the corner of the kitchen for that long.
This beautiful expensive jar had a hole. I even had several moments of deep cleaning the house for company and guests coming and had done some dusting and purging and clearing things away over those 10 months and for some reason I had still kept this jar and in a place where everyone could see it. I stared at it wondering why I hadn't thrown it away all this time. It was useless to me now. It could hold no liquid and no matter how I tried to turn it, it was a clear jar so you could still clearly see the hole. I thought to myself, “why have I hung on to this for so long?” and then as I looked deeper within myself and realized that everything I do is a reflection of my life and how I live it, I wondered “why do I hang on to broken things?”
I started noticing other things in my home that I had hung onto that were broken. I have another vase in the living room that I absolutely love that has a hole in the back and I just filled it with flowers and turned it so everyone could see it's beauty and not the hole in the back that is now hidden. Why do I hang on to things that really can’t be fixed and why don't I just throw them away? Is it because I'm cheap? Is it because I am resourceful? Is it because I see value in things and really in people when I see they have broken parts to them? Like a container in my living room that holds beautiful decorative balls. The bottom had broken and had come apart from the top of the container and so I just put it on a different pedestal and made it functional again. It still had value to me. It still brought beauty to my living room. Is it because of the investment I made in the object or the person in the first place that I don't just throw them in the garbage or out of my life?
What does that say about me? Do I keep broken relationships in my life because of the time I already spent on them and invested in them and so it's hard to let it go because I have already spent so much time in it and I feel like if I let it go now than it was all a waste of time? Do I need to learn to let go more and stop hanging on to things that no longer serve a purpose or a function? Like a broken relationship that no longer brings me love and fulfillment and happiness and just let go of it, grateful for the blessing it was and the purpose it served for the time I had it and now it's over and no longer serves a purpose? It functioned as it was supposed to in my life when I had it, but it no longer has a place, a space, or use in my life and it's time to let it go and be grateful for the time and lessons learned in it. This could say something else as well.
For instance let's go back to the vase with the hole. I have loved that vase since the day I bought it and even though it has a broken part to it with the hole in the back, it holds beautiful flowers in it that still bring beauty and décor to my room and nobody even notices the hole in the back because of the beautiful flowers covering it. There are relationships in our life that might have been broken a time or two and yet they do still have function in our lives and they still add beauty so we keep them around and keep investing in them. Those things and let's say- people -that have broken parts to them (we all do) because of their experiences still have functionality and depth and beauty and we don't just get rid of people or things because they are broken. We look at the other aspects of them, their functionality and what they do bring to us and our lives and the energy exchange and contributions you give to each other rather than zeroing in on their broken part but when something no longer serves a purpose in your life and has no functionality left, and stares you in the face, it's time to let it go. It’s important to recognize those things that continue to serve a purpose and those things that we just really need to be let go of. I looked at the jar in my kitchen and was grateful for the purpose it had served in adding beauty to the tables it had decorated and added function to and then I threw the beautiful expensive, non-functioning jar away and said goodbye and opened a space for something more beautiful to come in.
Here is an exercise that may be helpful for you to determine what relationships need to stay in your life and which ones need to be let go of:
Let’s categorize our relationships. Not all relationships will fall in the same category for us. I tend to put my relationships into three categories when deciding what direction to take when a relationship is in crisis:
If it is worth fixing and keeping in your life then mend it and repair what has been lost or broken. Give the necessary apologies and accountability for wrongs that need to take place and ask and give the forgiveness needed to do so and start to build the relationship in a healthier more positive way.
Happy Trails to You
These are the people that you choose to keep as an acquaintance and when you see them you greet them in a friendly and positive way and keep that positivity between you. It is a cordial friendship and you might have chance meetings every now and again but it is no longer a large investment of your time and energy to keep this relationship. We wish them best in their lives and adventures and send good and positive thoughts their way.
Some of our relationships no longer serve a purpose that is uplifting and beneficial to us and it is time to say goodbye to that relationship, wishing them well and sending good vibes to that person. In these relationships, when we disconnect, it means we completely disconnect and let go and yet wishing them well at the same time. Don’t allow it to take any more energy from you. Disconnect means, you no longer take their phone calls or have contact whatsoever, there are no spewing and non-beneficial remarks any longer and you let go, forgive and move forward.
We have a choice in how we feel each and every day. When you realize that you control who comes in and out of your life, you then begin to build a solid and positive foundation that can lead the way to always having fulfilling relationships and release those that could potentially be harmful and lower your vibration. Life is meant to be fulfilling and feel good. You have the power to shape your life and that includes choosing who is or is not carrying non-beneficial energy into your sphere of influence.
For help in disconnecting, you can find a powerful tool in my book AromaHeal or for deeper disconnect and healing, you can do a session with me. Just go to my website @ www.thehealingcoach.com and visit the "Store" Page to purchase a 1 on 1 session and and you can schedule it through the "Scheduled Events" Page.
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